I've been keeping a little list over here of strange/funny/odd/awkward things that people have said to me while I've been pregnant.
People are so awkward sometimes, but I sort of love it. Makes life so much more interesting, wouldn't you agree? I'm always good for one or two awkward moments, so I appreciate the candor.
I can hardly wait to enter the infamous world of opinionated people once the baby actually arrives, if not just for the commiserating with others over stories of inappropriateness and overstepping.

I will give a disclaimer that by reading these you may think that 1)I work in a very strange, maybe inappropriate and open office and 2)my husband is against any "non-traditional" medicine. #1 is true, but we are like family. #2 is not true, but he is a bit of a realist when it comes to things  such as humm..pushing a watermelon out a hole the size of a pea.


Here are some favorites over the past few months:


"Oh sweet baby momma, I'll get that for you!" - the nice janitor at a work conference
"My name is Meredith." , as I reach out to shake his hand.
"Oh, nice to meet you sweet, sweet momma", as he reaches to touch my belly


"Have you gotten to the point where you have had to buy all new bras? At least Kyle will enjoy that, well, until you start milking. Then it's like pancakes instead of balloons."
- a male coworker.


"What sex is it?" - stranger in the park, pointing at Maizy
"Oh, she's a girl" - me
"That's what I thought! Obviously you are carrying a girl!"
"Oh, you meant the baby?" - me
"Duh." -stranger.


"You want to deliver naturally? How delusional are you?"


"I signed us up for a Lamaze class" - me
"I can't come." - Kyle
"What do you mean?" - me
"I'll give you a class. I can't sit through an entire day of crunchies telling us that you won't be in pain." - Kyle
"It's one day, it won't kill you."  -me
"It just may."  -Kyle
"Oh stop. It will be helpful...buttt I also made an appointment to meet with a potential doula" - me
 "WHAT?? I'MMMM YOUR DOULA! (pause) and I'M FREE!" - Kyle
(update: we're going to Lamaze but the doula is still up in the air ;)


"Could the doctor just send ME a note telling the sex of the baby? I need to start buying toys."
- Grandpa


"So, when are you due?" - the woman checking me out at Macy's
"September 7th."
"Oh, so that would make the date..hummm...december?!"
"What date?"
"The you know, the sex date {pause} ...It was clearly a very long winter indoors."


"DON'T lift that!!"
- stranger in the parking lot when I was loading a small bag of dog food into my car


"Can I touch it?"
- old man in the checkout line at Kroger


"You live such a charmed life you are going to sneeze and the baby will pop out! Opp! Babies here, all clean and perfect!"
- a male coworker.
<-- I wish ;)


At a coffee shop:
"Could I have a side of fruit? - me
"We don't sell that separately, but I will ask..."  - barista
I hear her as she turns the corner to ask her boss:
"Could I sell a side of fruit to a customer" - barista
"We don't sell fruit separately" - boss
"But, well...{she whispers} she's pregnant.." - barista


"Are you...hummm...hummm..."  - a family friend that I haven't seen in years
"No, she's just gotten fat. "  - my dad


"You're starting to show!" - a friend at church
"No, she just looks like she really has to poop." - my tactful husband


"Oh, wow, you've humm...grrrowwwwn."


"Hi Ricardo!"- Kyle
"You named your baby RICARDO?!!" - friend
"No, it's Kyle's nickname for the baby!" - me
"Oh good, I was going to say...what on earth!!!!" - friend
(and there you have it folks, why the name is a secret :)


 "Are you not sharing the name because you picked something awful like Apple or Ivy?! Did you name this baby after a FOOD or PLANT??!"
- great aunt


"Don't let the pregnant woman go first in line! There won't be any food left for everyone else!"
- a complete turd of a family friend at a cookout


"Are your thighs touching yet? Wait until your boobs explode!"


"Have you started to leak?!"


"Have you had dreams about making out with everyone you know?!"
"Huh?"
"That happens! Just wait."
- coworker


(and because no quote wall would ever be complete without the input of a 2 year old that melts my heart into little pieces...)
"Hi baby cousin" - Hannah, as she kisses my belly





5 Comments

  1. Oh my goodness, these are a hoot. I got many of the same ones (and a few particular doozies of my own - though now, when I'm almost 9 months removed from having that big bump, I see pictures and finally understand why people did double takes when they saw the huge beyond basketball state of my belly). It's crazy how pregnancy suddenly makes people think it's appropriate to talk about your body in ways they never would for non-pregnant people...

    And I agree there are some things it's better just not to tell people - sometimes women can be really encouraging when you mention wanting a natural birth (I am! Totally cheering for you and know you'll do awesome if that's what you decide to try), but some just roll their eyes or tell you you're not going to be able to do it, which is not so helpful.

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    1. You're so right!! It's funny how people constantly talk about your body when you're pregnant, when otherwise it would be considered rude or strange (and completely inappropriate!)
      I loved your post about your natural birth and labor process- it was really encouraging! You must have felt like superwoman after that experience. I'm not married to the idea, (because anything can happen), but I would like to *try* and see how baby progresses. Did you also do certain classes or hire a Doula to assist?

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  2. Yes! The make out dreams! I forgot about those. Craziness!

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  3. These crake me up!!!! Laughing so hard! I have equally experienced the nuttiness of people and their outspoken comments! But I really hope that the cookout you are talking about is not the one we had at my parents and I REALLY hope it was not my husband!

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure so many of your customers have had ridiculous comments for you! Write them down, it will be fun to tell baby much later in life... ;)

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