Sunday morning, Kyle and I were sitting in the back row at church (back row signifying that we were a bit tardy). It was the second time in three months that I've been able to be with my husband at church, and it was so nice. It felt like home.
"Appetites are given to us so that
we are continually reminded that
only Christ can fulfill them."
This is what the message was about. Perfect timing.
It's been something that has been tucked in the back of my mind for weeks, occasionally creeping up at the oddest of times. A small light bulb that would go off as a reminder, a notifier, a check.
Talked about a bit here & here, I shared the transition of house hunting and settling into a new city. Specifically, I tried to be honest about the process becoming an idol. Something so built up , as if once we accomplished it, all would be right with the world and everything else in our lives would simply fall into place.
Okay, so now here we are. We've been blessed with a beautiful home. I'm so incredibly grateful.
Am I satisfied? Is my "appetite," satisfied? The short answer: No.
Let me back up a moment. I am a type-A personality; I like my lists, goals, plans, organization. I love setting a goal and accomplishing it, big or small. The negative to this is that I can become obsessive over it; I have to finish hanging the picures, we have to get the backsplash installed, we have to hang the new lights...so on and so forth. I have an appetite to get things accomplished, to make things look nice, to purchase beautiful pieces for our house and make it cozy, warm and inviting.
But, in the deepest root of this I am forced to ask myself this question:
Do I think these accomplishments will satisfy me? Do I think they will make me whole?
For me, I'm using our house as an example of what God continues to reiterate to me:
only He satisfies.
It goes a little something like this: Yahhh!! The gallery wall is finished. Ohhhh!! The backsplash looks amazing! Wahooo..Our new lights are stellar!!
And onto the next project. An excitement quickly faded out by the next to-do, the next big thing to give a sense of fulfillment; "now we need a lamp for the bedroom, a mirror for the mantel, can't wait for our new furniture..."
Things, temporary, earthly, unimportant. At the end of the day = stuff.
Is there anything wrong with having a home, buying new things, or getting excited about house projects? Absolutely not.
Is there anything wrong with pretending it gives us eternal satisfaction, and we look to that instead of Christ? Absolutely.
There's a big difference between being grateful for what we've been given, and trying to use those things to replace the person who gave them to us.
A home. A new car. A night at the bar. A great vacation, new job, great wardrobe, new television. Fill in the blank, it all results in this = temporary satisfaction. An appetite never fulfilled.
“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,
but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.
Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
We all have appetites, needs, desires. Instant gratification, lack of patience. I need to check my heart, my motives, my appetite. Who, what am I allowing to feed it?
I think there will come a time in all of our lives when we realize, admit or comprehend that we simply can't do life on our own. A new car won't cure a broken heart. A new kitchen won't fulfill our need to be loved. Another drink won't bring lasting joy. Our spouse won't meet our every need. A new pair of jeans holds excitment until they no longer fit.
That nothing, no one will, or is able to, fully satisfy. Only Christ.